FAR, FAR AWAY

Think of a person who really bugs or annoys you. Think of a place you'd like to send this person. Then - mentally- send them there. With that in mind, start with: "The postcard arrived..."

... three days after I saw her off at the airport. She was so excited; she had no idea the trip was my way of getting back at her. Stupid, why would I give a self-centered, bratty, ugly b_ _ _ _ a trip to Palawan. She couldn't figure it out. She probably thinks she's the greatest person in the world and deserves it. She thinks we're friends. That's the best way to strike back, when someone least expects it.

I hope I chose the right time to send her there. I was told the malaria-carrying mosquitoes breed around this time. I've carefully chosen the destination resort that's perfect for my plan: the back-to-nature setup (no airconditioning nor fans, no screened villas--just fresh clean air). Perfect breeze for bringing in swarms of mosquitoes from the jungles behind the resort. Haha.

Day 2: Resolution Revolution

Use each letter as you get to it (NEW YEARS RESOLUTION). Start with: New Year's resolutions make me...

...bored. Everybody, every year makes them. Wait 2 months and all is forgotten. Yet, why is it people still go through the trouble of making them? Easy-- we are all creatures of habit. And isn't it a bit funny that resolutions have a lot to do with habits. Rid ourselves of bad habits, we tell ourselves. Start good ones this year. Really, we all deserve medals for beginning-of-the-year good intentions. Eventually we are not as resolute about being a better person. So we go back to being our old selves or, more correctly, remain our old selves. Obese. Lazy. Uninspired. Then, before we know it, another new year is here. I promise to .... Oh no! Never mind.

I have this writing book, "The Write-Brain Workbook" 366 exercises to liberate your writing. I've always imagined myself as someone who writes well, and sometimes I have this fantasy that I will finally be able to shift careers this late and write for a living.

Anyway, this workbook, as you may have noticed from the title, has as many excercises as there are days in the year.

DAY 1: Circle Game one

Instructions:

Circle the one word that most appeals to you: Alabama, Banister, Carousel, Diesel, Exorcist (Carousel)
Circle the one word that most appeals to you: Flatulence, Garage, harried, Insensitive, Jambalaya (my choice: Jambalaya)

Circle yet another word that you find appealing: Keepsake, Lamb, Massage, Nonsense, Oriole (Lamb)

Use these three words in a story. Start with: Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around in his wheel!

Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around in his wheel! But all that running around is good for toning muscles, I guess. I'd make a nice skewered gerbil. I read about Kobe beef, that it's so expensive because the cows are massaged everyday, so the resulting meat is marbled just so. But I wouldn't buy meat so expensive, I'll make do with a well-excercised gerbil, some lamb and make myself my own version of Jambalaya. I've always loved one-dish meals like Jambalaya, and especially rice-based one-dish meals. If I were psychoanalysed, this tendency would be traced to my childhood days, when our staple was corn instead of rice. My child's mind always equated this with "underprivileged". Back then, I always had this fear that I would throw up at school and the contents of gut making a mess all over the floor. Everyone would see the course remains of corn grits. Ughh.

I make and eat this jambalaya, and ride on a fast-moving carousel until I'm nauseated, what would come out of my tummy would not have looked much different from the food that came right off the stove.